Breaking news from Massachusetts: Aaron Hernandez will be in training camp.
That report comes from Bristol County Sheriff Tom Hodgson, who oversaw Hernandez in jail for the past 18 months and says for Aaronthal… It’s not really jail at all. “He doesn’t really look at it as jail. It’s more like training camp.”
Speaking as a guy who had been to neither…. I can still say, without a doubt, one is nothing like the other. I don’t care how hard Belichick’s training camps were. A couple extra days wearing full pads in the heat is nothing like eating bologna sandwiches in a cage the size of a parking spot.
Bill Parcells had brutal training camps back in the day, but I’d be willing to bet that Phil Simms and Harry Carson would choose sweating in Camp Tuna over rotting in a Camp Slammer.
Then again, I’m not really sure Hernandez even understands that he’s in jail. His new life behind bars sounds exactly like his old life. Because Sheriff Hodgson also said he got in a fight with another inmate, was accused of threatening to kill a guard and his family, reacted poorly to disrespect, and returned from the guilty verdict with quote “A swagger in his step.”
You just got convicted of murder! Swagger? You’re now a LIFER. He makes it sound like Aaronthal was breakdancing in his cell, highfiving the other inmates and looking to holler at some ladies.
What do you have swagger about, Thal? That you didn’t get TWO life sentences. Sit tight- You might! Everybody has to have a coping mechanism in the big house. Maybe Hernandez gets through his days by pretending he’s going through Patriots two-a-days. But you’re not making millions of dollars to play catch with Tom Brady. You’re living off tax dollars and hoping not to get seriously hurt, or worse, by your bunkmate.
You’re confusing Hard Knocks with Hard Time. Go ahead and keep that swagger, just remember that your training camp lasts about 70 years. And I know for a fact that the Hoodie has never said “We’re on to penitentiary.”
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.