Something’s been stinking about Jameis Winston. His march to the NFL draft has just been a little too perfect. For a guy who couldn’t go 5 minutes without stepping in it during the season, he’s kept his nose clean for months before going #1.
His pre-draft PR rating has been approaching 158.3. But you can just never count out ‘OL IGGY. With just over a week before Roger Goodell calls his name, we’ve seen the return of Ignoramus Winston.
Guess what’s back? Crabgate. It sticks to him, it’s ugly, and it won’t go away. For Iggy- stealing crabs is just like HAVING crabs. But during an inexplicable sit-down with Jim Harbaugh back in February… Winston says he didn’t steal them at all!
That’s some semantics. Dude is saying, look, this is a big mix-up. I didn’t steal any crab. I just took it for free. I didn’t steal it. I just didn’t pay for it. That’s what stealing is, IGG. If you take a stack of twenties that weren’t in your account because your boy is a bank teller….. You’re a bank ROBBER.
And I love how he lays out that – “someone from inside the store had told the security that I didn’t pay for them.”
Of course they did! That’s what security is there for. For morons joy-riding the motorized carts, slobs grazing off the shelves, and Heisman winners ripping the king crab.
You’re an adult. If you can break down Cover 3, you can understand that groceries aren’t free.
And whether or not your shellfish “hook up” handed those legs to you – doesn’t matter.
That is, unless you’re Jimbo Fisher. Because if the Publix grocery store was hooking up Seminoles with Alaskan King, then FSU could get nailed by the NCAA. Crabs could be to Jimbo Fisher what tatts were to Jimbo Tressel.
And Fish says they’ve contacted Publix and have been assured it was an isolated incident.
Yeah, like some dude in a hair net working the seafood counter is going to give names and Narc out the Noles. The whole thing is shady. Jameis saying he didn’t steal them is just dumb.
It’s nice that Ignoramus could make one more curtain call before the draft, and I guarantee Jimbo is geeked that this will finally be the last Iggy mess he has to cover up.
Lovie Smith – you’re up.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.