May Day: Three Dot Lounge filled with the bizarre and unlikely

DS Eric Weddle

May’s second Friday brings with it reports that the big-hitting Padres sustained their third shutout in four games, an impressive rain storm arrived and the local newspaper is becoming the San Diego Union Tribune of Los Angeles.

Wow, didn’t see any of that coming.

Did we mention Dodgers catcher Yasmani Grandal, who was swapped for Padres slugger Matt Kemp, had more home runs in eight innings on Thursday than Kemp has in 30 games? Guess we did.

Some things never change and we offer Tom Brady and the cheatin’ Patriots as proof positive. Think his super model wife would accept his ambiguous explanations if he came home late with lipstick on his collar? …

The Padres are caught in a Catch-22, and no, that doesn’t allude to two 22-inning stints of not scoring a run.

It’s hit or miss with the Friars, but at least the u-turns are more fun to watch than last year’s. Of course sandwiched between those three shutouts in four outings is a winning nine-run explosion.

“Same team,” Padres manager Bud Black said. “Same team.”

Same old song and dance for some Padres fans but it’s crazy how expectations have changed. No longer are the customers pleased with an occasional win. Fall flat a few days in a row and Black’s back on the hot seat.

But Black’s not going any where any time soon. Didn’t we say that, though, about the Padres before A.J. Preller’s arrival?

While the bats are driving patrons batty, don’t overlook the pitching.

Starter Odrisamer Despaigne is lights-out at home and look-out on the road. His outings outside of Petco Park are usually of the chuck-and-duck variety.

Brandon Morrow, another starter, has a sore shoulder. The Padres don’t think it is serious, but they rarely let on when they do.

Another arm receiving a close eye doesn’t belong to a pitcher. Yonder Alonso was tearing it up at the plate before diving for a ball in the desert and hurting his shoulder. He recoiled in the ground as if bit by a snake. Hasn’t this snake-bit first baseman had enough bad luck? …

While safety Eric Weddle sits, the Chargers burn. You’ll excuse me for not faking a heart attack over Weddle missing this phase of the offseason’s touch football workouts.

The only leverage Weddle has is to express his disgust over his treatment by the organization is to chill. The practices, remember, are voluntary, and last time I checked Webster’s, that meant come as you please. Or don’t.

So Weddle won’t show, and so what?

Here’s the safest bet: his teammates are on his side. An NFL offensive lineman told me years ago all players get paid the same: whatever they can get.

Weddle, though, doesn’t have the club under his chinny-chin-chin and wouldn’t that be a sight with his face wig. He’s under contract and he’ll be under a helmet when Philip Rivers gets under center for the first real practice snap. …

Word is that the Rivers family is expecting child No. 8. We figure Pops, a 13-year pro, wants an offspring for every NFL season he plays. …

Ready for the Chargers’ Super Bowl-winning season in what could be their last round in San Diego? Not only would it be rich, but you would be too if taking the 50-1 odds Las Vegas is posting for the Bolts to claim Super Bowl 50. …

Don’t mess with Texas, but it’s OK for the Cowboys to round up the NFL’s bad boys. On the heels of signing Greg Hardy, he of domestic violence infamy, they acquired La’el Collins and he’s no choir boy.

Collins was a person of interest in the murder of a woman.

Is it Jerry World or Boys Town with this collection of misfits?

From now on, Jerry Jones is called “Father Flanagan.” …

Ducks fever in San Diego, and why not? The weather fits and so does the connection.

Anaheim goes for a mighty 3-1 lead over Calgary in Friday’s second round of playoffs. With the Ducks’ top minor-league team setting up shop in San Diego next season, it’s time to jump on the bandwagon. Or is it a giant Zamboni? …

Brewers announcer Bob Uecker got left just a bit outside in Milwaukee. Seems the handle fell off the door leading from his radio booth and he was stuck. Finally, a ladder was used for a maintenance worker to climb in from the stands and take the hinges off the door.

Uecker, of course, never missed a beat. They don’t call him the best in the business for nothing. …

Alex Rodriguez passes Willie Mays? “Say Lies” eclipses ‘Say Hey” and something just isn’t right in the world. …

You ready for the rematch? It seems most fans are thirsting for it and why not?

Mayweather-Pacquiao? Nah. We’re going with Philip Rivers vs. Jay Cutler when the Bears roll into Qualcomm for a Monday night tilt on Nov. 9.

+ Contact Jay Paris at Follow him on Twitter at @jparis_sports.



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