Hulkster Takes The Stand

LEMME ASK YOU JUST ONE QUESTION, BROTHER… WHATCHA GONNA DOOOOOO…. WHEN THE INTERNET GETS A SEX TAPE OF YOU?????

I know what the Hulkster is gonna do. He’s gonna sue.

It’s like he always told the little Hulkamaniacs back in his hey day –  Take your vitamins, say your prayers, and lawyer up when your porn tape hits the net.

I’m pleased to say I did not view the Hulkster’s tape, but I have viewed the details from this trial against Gawker Media, and I guarantee they’re twice as entertaining.

The mere fact that the Hulkster is allowed to sit in court rocking a formal, black “bandana” around his head is hilarious. But not as hilarious as the Hulkster’s take in this case.

Check that, as “Terry Bollea’s” case. Because he’s suing for 100mill because the release of the sex tape was an invasion of his privacy.

Gawker’ response is…. Hey Terry, you’ve done countless interviews where you talk about your sex life, your prowess, and even the size of your manhood. You’re just bent because you didn’t sell the tape yourself.

Seems like a strong point to me. But Terry’s response is amazing. He says, oh no, Terry Bollea didn’t do those interviews. That was Hulk Hogan talking, brother. You’ve got the wrong guy. Terry doesn’t roll like that. Terry’s private.

Really? Because I’ve seen some of these interviews, Terr. They’re not with Mean Gene. You’re not wearing the yellow sunglasses and tearing off your shirt.

What an incredible excuse. That would be like if O.J. was like… No, I didn’t kill those people. That was the Juice!

I’m glad to know that if I ever get in trouble for something I say on the air… Jim Rome can say that “Van Smack” said it, Sir.

I mean we’ve seen the Hulkster get off the mat against The Iron Sheik. We’ve seen him slam the Ultimate Warrior. We’ve seen him seen him dig deep to beat Sgt. Slaughter. But I’ve never seen him reach like he is against Gawker.

And by the way Hulk…..errrrrrr Terry… If you’re truly worried that that sex tape is going to live on forever on the internet. Don’t be. There are things far more embarrassing of you out there, brother.

 

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