Houston Throws Down

We know Houston will throw down. And now we’re going to find out if Brock Osweiler can play. Because while he did win big games against the Pats and Bengals last year, we really don’t who or what this guy is. And  The Texans are lying if they say they do.

What do we really know about this dude? He has started 7 NFL games. His only career 300 yard game was in a home loss to the Raiders. He’s 13 feet tall. He’s a dead ringer for dude from Twilight. And he likes getting pizza late-night.

And that’s the guy who just landed 37 mill guaranteed? Matt Flynn can’t believe he’s getting that much jack for so little production. No… Really. Matt Flynn can’t believe it. The guy who landed a deal from Seattle for having one big game for Green Bay tweeted. “Wow I know I’m going to get killed for this and I don’t have a lot of room to talk, but this latest QB contract is unbelievable…”

Here’s what is believable. The Texans have had a Super Bowl defense and a 4-12 offense. After what happened in the playoffs- they said let’s go get the biggest, tallest dude out there, pay him and put him on a plane. They got their starter. I’m just not ready to say they won the offseason Super Bowl.

Sure they threw huge jack at running back Lamar Miller to come in and take some heat off Osweiler. Miller’s nice. But it’s crazy to pay big money for that position.

Houston grabbed a couple of decent names. They’ll sell a few more jerseys. And they did win twitter.

But I’m not throwing a party until I see them win some games that matter. Especially since they don’t really know what they have in Osweiler. If you spend cash on a running back – he better be a 1,400 yard rusher. And if you want to wear a medal for being the free agency winner – you’ve gotta prove that Brock Osweiler is even better than Brian Hoyer. And we still don’t know if that’s true. But for $18 mill per, he sure as hell better be.

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