Whack The Alf

Spring Break just started early at UCLA. I’ve gotta a feeling on Frat Row in Westwood, there were some red solo cups raised to the sky out of respect for the pilot buzzing campus with a FIRE ALFORD banner.

Yesterday, a plane was flying over Westwood dragging a banner that read “UCLA Deserves Better- Fire Alford” Give that pilot a 1-seed. And give whoever paid him a key to the city.

That’s one of the most iconic flights LA has seen since Howard Hughes landed on a golf course and Harry Ford crashed into one.

And I’d like to say it’s a low point for UCLA basketball, but I can’t. Sure, there have been some shaky coaching runs over the years. But I don’t remember getting the fly-over treatment after a 6-12  season in conference. And even that’s not your low point. The low point was walking off the floor after losing to USC by 24 points to complete the first cross-town season sweep since the 1940s. The last time that happened, John Wooden was serving in World War II.

Never mind hiring a plane, the program should have put Steve Alford on one and flew him out of town. Not that I don’t respect the hustle of whoever threw down for that plane. Can you even imagine how much that must have cost – in LA? If you have to break off a half mill to get a 2-bedroom condo, with a shared wall, it’s gotta be steep to rent a 2-passenger plane. And yet, whatever it is – it’s a drop in the bucket compared to what UCLA would have to pay to actually Whack the Alf. Never mind that puddle jumper, you could buy 3 private jets for the 10.4 mill Alf would be due if they ran him. That’s the buzzkill in this party. UCLA wasn’t even close to going to March Madness. And Alf isn’t going anywhere.

As much I respect angry UCLA fans throwing down for an aviator, they’d be better off starting a Kickstarter.

But give credit to Alford for something – his team had 1 more Pac-12 win than the Bruins football team had. So at least tip the cap for Alf for the re-branding. Because he’s helping turn a classic national basketball program into a football school.

You deserve better than Steve Alford, Bruin fan, but unless you can scratch a ten million dollar check, you’re not going to get it. Never mind that you had better. And his name is Ben Howland. You believe that: you fired a guy who took you to three Final Fours in order to hire a guy who just got swept by USC?! How the hell does that work? I’d love to tell you it’s all going to work out just fine, Bruin fan. But it won’t.



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