Well this is perfect. It’s 4/20. It’s Stoner Christmas. And apparently it’s Day 1 of Johnny Manziel climbing out of the gutter he’s been living in.
In a statement he issued yesterday, Manziel said “I’m hoping to take care of the issues in front of me right now so I can focus on what I have to do if I want to play in 2016.”
Uh huh. What issues- the fact that you can’t score a VIP bracelet for Weekend 2 at Coachella?
And play what in 2016 – hide and seek in the ball pit? I would actually love to take this statement seriously, and believe that dude’s hopping off the Club train, drying out, and getting help. But how can I? We’ve seen and heard this before.
I don’t think you have to be Dr. Drew or Dr. Phil to be a little skeptical about the notion that Manziel will go from crashing in a rented Drug den with Josh Gordon and living off Tito’s…. To brown rice, mineral water and morning runs on the beach.
Especially when his spokesperson is feeding this BS “So many people have one image of Johnathan but, believe it or not, he takes all this very seriously.”
Gimme a freaking break. “Johnathan” takes it all so seriously that he was given a week by Drew Rosenhaus to get himself help – and helped himself to another week of binging. What… was that not fair because it was “Coachella week”? Dirty pool? Yeah, yeah – I’ll get help… But first I GOTTA get ripped and check out Kesha, bro.
You know why everybody has one image of “Johnathan” – because nobody’s seen one image of him getting in a workout or walking into a performance facility. Because the most recent image we saw of Johnathan was him looking skinny, pale, unhealthy and flossing sores on his face like some kind of street junkie. It looks like what he takes very seriously is taking drugs.
Again – I BADLY want this to be true. I want the guy to get help, clean himself up, stop being a club rat. Because I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I’m tired of doing takes on Johnny Idiotface. And I really don’t want to walk in here one day, crack the mic and give my take on Manziel being in the hospital. Or the grave.
Never mind playing next season. Focus on breathing next week. I want Jonathan to get help. I just don’t believe it will happen.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.