Worst Criminal Ever

Reche Caldwell has a very quick name association. You hear former NFL wideout Reche Caldwell- and you immediately think of  what?? His eyeballs bulging out of his melon back in the ’06 Title game. It looked like he was on the tastiest Molly ever… And years later he’s in jail for trying to sell it.

Give Reche this, he’s tried hard to change that name association from the eyeballs to 8-balls.

ESPN did a profile on the former Gator, Charger, Patriot, Redskin and current inmate. And he tells the story of how he went from starting wide receiver to selling drugs “I Googled it, baby!”

Caldwell says he actually got into the business by Googling ‘How to get molly from China.’ You know, just like a guy trying to get a job and hitting up Career Builder or Monster. Only there’s no jobs on there for “drug runner.”

5 days later, he gets a package of drugs, it gets flagged, an undercover agent comes to his house and they raid the place.

Quoting Caldwell “Aw man, not again!”

And why does he say “again?” Because just one year earlier he was running an illegal betting parlor that got raided too.

Caldwell says he was eating a sandwich when the first flash grenade shook the building, and he didn’t even trip. “Then — boom– another one went off. So I get up and walk out and there’s like 50 police and tanks ramming the door and guys screaming and swarming in from everywhere, helicopters and sirens and smoke, total chaos, and it’s still not registering.”

Hilarious. Like- what the heck are you guys doing here? Somebody break the law?  YEAH, YOU! GET ON THE GROUND CALDWELL. And as the SWAT team swarmed him, dude still didn’t get it. “Damn, man, you blasted the door with a tank?? Why didn’t ya just knock? I woulda let y’all in.”

And he would have too. Because it’s exactly what the next agent did just a year later. How many times do you needed to get raided by federal agents before you realize- I might not be cut for this gig; I may need to find a new line of work.

Quoting his own  mother. “Good lord that boy was a bad criminal. And thank Jesus for that.”  

I mean the worst ever, right? He makes Aaron Hernandez leaving his cotton candy bubble gum at the scene of the crime look like some kind of Thomas Crown.

It sounds like Prison might be the right place for this dude. Decent football player, worst criminal ever.

And I feel like the second he gets out of the slam, he’s going to get a another raid from the K-9s and choppers.

His old QB Tom Brady has 4 rings. I don’t want to see Reche Caldwell get 3 raids. And I can’t help but think we might.

Aw man, not again!!…I LOVE THIS DUDE: Caldwell was so oblivious to any threat from law enforcement that when the first police flash grenade shook the building, he took another few bites of his sandwich and turned up the volume on the game.

Keep it down, coppers! I got the Chargers on!

And dude not only bought drugs on line, but tracked the packaged relentlessly on his app, which helped the Feds track him. The dude who got busted twice on to Catch A Predator is laughing at him. But again, I love him.

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