The two worst decisions of Tiger Woods’ life: Not having a burner phone in 2009. And stepping into the tee box yesterday.
Honestly I think yesterday might have been worse.
The Cat was at Congressional for a promotional event, and what he really ended up promoting – was the end of his career as we know it.
He did this in two phases. First he told the media about how his game is really coming around, he’s hitting the ball better and quote “People have written me off. I’m not fertilizer.”
Pretty big talk from a rusty old robot. But Eldrick wasn’t just there to pop off, this dude actually tried to back it up and grabbed a club.
Swing’s coming around? Show us a little something, E. So he grabs a wedge, lines up a little 102 yard slapper over the water… And proceeds to look like a drunken bachelor party hacker.
This is how you know Eldrick doesn’t have a wingman. Because if he did, dude would have tackled him and dragged him to the parking lot before he took another shot.
The guy just rinsed another sleeve… Playing from the WHITE tees!
If they knew Tiger was going to be this bad, they would have planted somebody in a bush to throw a ball onto the green and pretend it was his. This little demo could not have gone worse.
Oh yes it could. Because it comes right on the heels of the Tyborg saying he still thinks he can break Jack Nicklaus’ record.
Break his record? Can you even break 80??? If nobody pulled the plug on that little show, Tiger would STILL be out there hacking and splashing.
That dude is going to come back, contend with Day, Rory, Spieth and Ricky? He couldn’t contend in the Father’s Day scramble at your dog track muni.
Beat Jack Nicklaus’s major’s record? Based on what I just saw, tee it up right now and I don’t even think he could beat Jack Nicklaus. Three balls, all from 102 yards and all in the water. Not like anyone was asking him to hit a 3 wood from the rough with a little fade on it. Just keep it out of the water. And he couldn’t do it. With three chances!
Couldn’t get it on the green from 102 feet?! Give a top 5 player three swings from 102 and there’s a pretty god chance they jar one.
Three in the drink?! That would be like Kobe Bryant stepping up now and air balling three free throws in a row. That would never happen. But Woods just put three in a row in the water from 102. And that really happened.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.