I think it’s time to check in with Toronto. How you living up there? In fact, are you even alive?
It’s been a rough, rough little stretch for you guys. The Maple Leafs were a last place team. Joey Bats got the Oakley’s punched right off his head. And I think the Raptors just got blasted even harder by the Cavs.
In fact, Toronto just got hit by Cleveland even harder than their late, great Mayor got hit by that camera.
That wasn’t really a basketball game. That was a video game. Mortal Kombat.
And we just witnessed a “flawless victory” by Bron and Kyrie.
I honestly thought Kyrie Irving was going to come out of the second half dressed up as Uncle Drew. Because he dressed the Raptors in a clown suit. Some of those little handles he broke the Raptors with – you don’t see guys get shaken like that in an NBA game. That’s And-1 Tour Bus stuff when Skip-To-My-Lou, The Professor and the Bone Collector stop the bus at a local run and bounce the ball off some dope’s forehead.
Just a brutal night for the Raptors, and a big loss for Team Rust in that tired old Rest vs. Rust debate. I think the Cavs might have finally killed that old segment-filler.
Let’s see- a Raps team that just landed in Cleveland after 2 straight 7 round series… Or a Cavs team coming off 2 straight sweeps that hadn’t even played in 8 days? Dumbest debate ever.
Did LeBron LOOK rusty? The dude shot 11 of freaking 13. And that’s because when you’re 6’8 it’s hard to miss from 1 foot away.
Look I said it yesterday- nobody believes in the Raptors, they have nothing to lose they’re playing with house money. But they just lost a big fat stack of it trying to bluff with a pair of 3s. The pit boss is already walking over to the table and threatening to rip their buffet voucher and their comped suite.
Toronto’s best baseball player gets punched, then their best hoops team ever gets punked. I know it was just one game. But I feel for Toronto because it’s been a real bad week. And watching Game 1 I think it might even get worse.
Toronto- might be time to crack an ice cold Labatt’s. – your OWN magic blue. Because I think you’re going to need it.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.