Your winners of the 2016 NBA Draft Lottery: The LA Lakers and the Stubhub Sixers! Your Losers… Nobody! Not really.
There were no rogue ping pong balls last night. Everything happened the way it was supposed to. Which made it for one of the most boring draft lotteries in history.
Credit to my man Deke Mutumbo for trying to spice it up and tipping the pick hours before Philly landed it.
Mt. Deke tweeted congrats to the Sixers yesterday afternoon, lighting up the conspiracy theories, before trying to explain that he just got ahead of himself and was excited for the Sixers’ chances. At least that’s not shady at all. I’d love to lob a call to David Stern and ask him about it, but he’d just throw a little fit and hang up.
So instead we watched the worst teams get the best picks, just like they’re allegedly supposed to. Sixers. Lakers. Celtics. No surprises. No fun.
Personally- I like to see the world burn a bit on lottery night. I like to watch a team that intentionally lost 60+ games only to see somebody else bogart the top pick.
I think it’s funny to see the ’97 Celtics win just 15 games, only to get the 3 pick and miss Tim Duncan.
I thought it was hilarious to see the ’92 Timberwolves intentionally lose to draft Shaq, only to get shafted and land Christian Laettner.
We don’t get another classic this year. The basketball gods were merciful. The Sixers will get whoever they want, the Lakers will get whoever is left. It’s going to be Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram and everybody goes home happy.
Well, except for fired Sixers GM Sam Hinkie. He’s been home for weeks, and the only honor he got last night was Sixers fans in Brooklyn chanting “Trust the Process”
There’s your process- three straight seasons of being the biggest embarrassment in the league, finally lands you the best pick in the draft. The lesson learned? Tanking works. Quitting pays off.
In the NBA- you have to play bad if you want to get good. Personally- I think it’s way more fun when somebody gets screwed, I mean, go ahead and trust the process, but the lottery’s much better when you can’t trust the ping pong balls.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.