Puff, Puff, Give, Phillip

LeBron’s been locked up in his laboratory, studying film, pouring over numbers… And the Professor emerged yesterday to conclude that tonight’s Game 3 is a “must win” and “do or die.”

Hopefully he shot out a company-wide email with that conclusion, because his teammates have been choosing DIE.

CC: JR Swish. CC: Kyrie Irving. The biggest reason Cleveland is down 2-0 isn’t because of how LeBron is playing. It’s that those two scorers aren’t playing at all.

And the dumbest panic-strategy flying around the Finals is the one that says LeBron just “take over”, try to score 50 and win this thing on his own.

Like just put him out there with four Bouncers who can rebound and let LeBron shoot every single time.

Ty Lue’s starting lineup tonight should be: Bron, Thompson, Mozgov, Channing Frye and Sasha Kaun. The Warriors want to play Small? Play Ogre Ball.

Not my take. My take is the Cavs are already finished and there’s nothing they can do. But that’s not Phil Jackson’s take. Philip thinks Bron can just beast the Cavs back into this series…after all, Mike once did it.

Philip must have puffed a doob before he started waxing about the time He and 45 were down 2-0 to the Knicks. “It did something to Michael Jordan. You learned about pulling the cape of Superman. It’s not a good idea. He was a man possessed after that. I think it’s going to take something for LeBron to step into that. Put on his cape and say, “I’m going to have to take over a lot of this series, doing the things beyond my level or my normal capacity.”

Phil he doesn’t have a cape. How many thousands of times have we had this conversation. This dude’s not Mike. He’s not going out like Jordan and getting 54 points to burn down the world.

All-time player, sure. But not an all-time killer. 2006 wants its take back, Zen. And 1993 wants its comparison, back.

Mike came back from down 2-0 to the John Starks’ Knicks. LeBron has to do it against the Steph Curry’s Warriors. There’s no comparison.

And right now for Bron – there is no Scott Pippen. There’s no Ho Grant. At this point he would settle for a Cliff Levingston.

The Warriors didn’t pull anybody’s cape. They pulled the Cavs pants down and pushed them into a pool.

LeBron is not a man possessed. He’s a man way over his head. And he’s not going to just Get Mad Like Mike and take over the series. He’s not Jordan. The Cavs aren’t the Bulls. The Warriors aren’t the Knicks. This isn’t the 90s. This isn’t even really a series.

LeBron’s teammates have shot him out of it, he doesn’t’ have it in him to Hulk them back in it.

Puff, Puff, Give, Phillip.

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