Stop Gravy Training

What’s more jacked up: Rex Ryan beating his chest and declaring that the Bills won the offseason? Or Cleveland convincing itself that the Browns just won the Super Bowl? I know that town is euphoric today. I know it’s been over 5 decades. But I also know the Browns are still terrible.

So why did Bernie Kosar get invited to ride on the parade today? Why is Earnest Byner saying when the Cavs won this title, “A peace washed over me.”

And why did that infamous Browns jersey with all the QBs names on it get retired? That storefront jersey, with Couch, Wynn, Holcomb, Dilfer, Frye and all the fellas-  it’s no more. Because according to the owner “It’s a new day in Cleveland.”

Sure- but it’s the same old garbage for the Cleveland Browns. They haven’t won JACK. The Cavs just won more games in the Finals than the Browns won ALL OF LAST SEASON.

There’s nothing for the Browns to celebrate.

Hey remember in Game 7 when the Cavs got that HUGE 3-pointer from Webster Slaughter? Me neither. Dang, when Omar Vizquel blocked that shot off the glass, that was Badass! No, because it didn’t happen.

When the Chicago Bears won the Super Bowl in ’85, you didn’t see the Cubs celebrating. I don’t’ recall seeing Leon Durham and Not Ryan It’s Ryne Sandberg popping rhymes in the Shuffle next to Samurai Mike.

And I don’t’ want to see the Browns nation celebrating a title that LeBron won for Cleveland. I know the dawgpound DREAMS of LeBron putting on the pads one day. But it’s not going to happen. The guy doesn’t’ even LIKE the Browns – he reps the Cowboys.

So I’m happy for Cleveland. But I’m not going near that parade if I’m connected to the Cleveland Browns. Because they didn’t win anything.

Stop gravy training, someone else, in a completely different sport. Keep the Cavs out your mouth… at least until you can win as many games as you lose. Something I don’t see happening any time soon. If ever.

 

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