Hey everybody, Happy National LeBron Opt Out Day.
Every day is something at this point. Monday was National Sunglasses Day. Tomorrow is National Bomb Pop Day. Friday is National Smack-off Day. And today is – LeBron exercises his player option with the Cavs, and passes on making 24 million dollars next season – DAY.
Seems like it happens every year. But it’s a little different this year. Because Opt Out Day for LeBron isn’t Panic Day for Cleveland. Because there’s no way this guy rips your heart out and bounces again.
You refresh your feed enough times, scan the tweets in the middle of the night, and you can hallucinate… you can actually see Bron wearing a Lakers gamer, or a Clippers gamer… Especially when you look up and see that he has officially gotten the Banana Boat bang back together.
Oh yes, Bron, WOW, CP and the fellas are back on the yacht, back on their phones, and ready to mount up on that giant Chiquita boat.
But just like last year- that doesn’t mean they’re about to join forces in the Association.
If I’m a Cavs fan – I might be annoyed by the Banana Boaters… But I’m not worried about it. Bron said just last week “I have no intention of leaving. …That’s right from the horse’s mouth.”
He can’t walk that back. Even this guy can’t bounce after that.
And why would he? To frat-out with his friends? That’s what he’s doing right now. That’s why the banana boat is Cleveland’s best friend. You should LOVE seeing those pics. Because it gets Bron some guy-time and gets it out of his system.
In this situation – Cleveland is the wife who wants her husband to go have an X-box and poker night. Because she knows spotting him one here and there will keep him in line and get him to all the little league games, piano recitals, and brunches with her parents. Bron did bring one title to The Land. And if he’s serious about stacking them- he won’t leave the Land.
It’s one of those sentences that still feels weird flying out of my mouth- but his best chance to win more titles is in Cleveland. They just beat a 73-win team. No matter what, he’s got Tristan and Kyrie. You don’t leave that. And I don’t’ think he will.
This year’s opt-out isn’t about sliding into the DMS of other teams… It’s about squeezing the Cavs for more green. Because he can.
It always looks a little weird to see that LeBron has opted out of his contract. But in this year’s version it shouldn’t give Cleveland a heart attack. This isn’t the next Decision. This is just good business.
Imagine if you could just quit your job every summer, and your boss responds by hiring you back for way more money. You’d be on that banana boat too.
So chill out, buy yourself a JR Swish tattoo t-shirt, rest up for National Waffle Iron Day tomorrow, and take this one straight from the horses’ mouth: CLEVELAND- THIS …IS FOR YOU!!!!
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.