WOW To Chicago

Before Jon Jones went Jon Jones, the biggest story of last night was the report that Dwyane Wade is planning to sign with the Bulls. Boom! Cue up the Skyler Gray because Dwyane Wade is comin’ home! Bring on the photoshopped Bulls jerseys and the highlight montages of Wade from high school because the face of the Miami Heat is heading to Chicago.

How did this happen? How were the Bulls able to pull off a move this incredible? As one source told ESPN: “Miami dared a very proud man to go home, and that man’s best friend [LeBron James] just won a title by going home.”

Uhhh, what? Please don’t tell me that Wade saw his fellow banana boater cruise back to Cleveland and win a ring, and think, “That’s cool. I can do that, too.”

Because there’s a big difference between those two stories.

First off, one guy is Dwyane Wade and the other guy is LeBron James. One guy WAS a great player, the other still is the best player in the league. One guy was going to a team that had never won anything, and a city that gone without a championship in more than five decades. The other was going to a team Mike had already won six rings for.

There’s nothing about this move that makes you think of LeBron and the Cavs. There’s no way Dwanyay was thinking that, right? Because I’ll lead the Bulls to a ring before he will.

And let’s not get too carried away with the idea that Miami “dared a very proud man to go home.” To quote Riley himself, GET A GRIP.

The Bulls got Wade because Riley let them. He practically drove the cat to the airport himself.

Don’t get it twisted. He wanted Wade back, but not nearly as much as Wade wanted him to want him back.

Resigning with Miami was Wade’s top priority. Riley’s was signing Kevin Durant. And then getting Hassan Whiteside’s deal done. And only then was he going to Wade.

And when Riley wouldn’t offer Wade a third year, WOW started looking around. Problem was, nobody else would offer him a third year either.

If the Heat don’t seem real busted up about this, it’s because they aren’t. And even more laughable is this notion that Riley should overpay Wade because he owed it to him, after Wade had given back so much money and signed player friendly contracts so they could win. That Riley should do for Wade what the Lakers did for Kobe Bryant.

Nice try, (dummy). Pat Riley did not become Pat Riley by doing things like that, WOW.

Why would a team reward you with your biggest per year contract ever, when you’re at your least value to them ever? Answer. They wouldn’t. Nor should they.

They don’t owe you jack. No gold watch or golden parachute for you Dwanyay.

You knew what you were doing when you signed those deals. At least, you should have.

As for Chicago, sure, this deal makes sense. Or it would have back in 2010.

Look, I have never begrudged any athlete any amount of money they make. Ever. Ever. You’re worth whatever someone is willing to pay you. But I just can’t figure out how Wade is worth more than 23 mill a year to the Bulls?! A faded superstar, with huge miles on him, way past his prime and playing the same position as Jimmy Butler. How does that make any sense for the Bulls.

The same Bulls team that jettisoned Derrick Rose a week ago, saying they wanted to get younger and more athletic. They wanted to get younger and more athletic? Then why the hell did they bring in Rajon Rondo and Dwyane Wade?! And what the hell are they doing?! And who’s next? Horace Grant? If not him, you better hook my dude Stacey King up.

Rondo and Wade?! That’s 64 years, a couple of thousand miles and maybe one good knee between them.

Jimmy Butler is going to wish he had Rose back. The league is more reliant than ever on the three and you’ve brought in a guy who’s a legendarily bad shooter in Rondo and Wade who’s even worse. Wade hit less than 16% of his threes last year. He was one spot better than legendary marksmen Timofey Mozgov and Brook Lopez. Craig Hodges could throw on his NBA gamer right now and hit 16% from three right now. And he’s 56.

I’m not sure what the Bulls are doing, but I know what they won’t be doing – winning.

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