I think it’s already over. Best headline of 2016 goes to former Dallas Cowboy Joseph Randle.
Of course. This guy’s churned out some gems over the years. “Cowboys running back busted for stealing underwear and cologne.”
“Joseph Randle offers police officer $100 for massage after arrest.” Yo Joe, you’re getting booked. You’re not at Burke Williams.
So how does he beat those? Like a frat bro. Check this headline: “JOSEPH RANDLE FOUND MENTALLY COMPETENT TO STAND TRIAL IN BEER PONG ASSAULT CASE.”
Hey man, what are you in for? Breaking and entering. How about you? Burglary. Yo new guy, what are you in for? BEER PONG ASSAULT.
Hey at least Randle didn’t make it worse by tacking on a Flip Cup Battery charge. Or an Ice Luge Larceny. Instead a few months back he allegedly tried to run down some people with his car after a disagreement over beer pong.
I wonder what his attorney’s advising him. What does he tell the judge? Your honor, my opponent clearly had his elbow over the table, and I also suspect he wasn’t filling his beers all the way to the top during our match. Those are violations of the Pong Code and as such I plead not guilty.
Good luck with that Joe.
Next time you play some pong, just do what losing pongers always do- finish your beers like a loser, get back in line and get ready to get housed again. Didn’t you used to be the starting running back for the Dallas Cowboys? Now you can’t even out pong some fratboys. And personally, I liked you better when you were more about stealing English Leather than running over Sig Eppers.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.