Remember when the St. Louis Cardinals tried to get viral and told their fans to – Go Crazy Now? Well they’ve given them something to go crazy about.
Remember that little story about how the Cardinals scouting director got busted by the Feds for hacking into the Astros database? Yeah, well, it’s not so little to Chris Correa. Because this dude is going to prison for it.
Not community service. Not an anklet. Guy is going into the slam for scouting illegally.
You’re probably thinking – So what? He took a peak at some Astros prospects. What’s he getting 30 days? He’s getting 46 MONTHS! Not 46 hours. Not 46 days. Not even 46 weeks. 46 MONTHS! Go crazy now! Go Crazy now!!
Give Correa this though… He’ll get to have maybe the greatest “What are you in for?” conversations in this history of the correctional system. What’d they get you for? Assault with a deadly weapon. How about you? I smuggled narcotics across the border. Hey new guy, how about you? Oh, I was peeping the Houston Astros middle infielder prospects down in Double-A.
And I have to say – it’s so rich that this happened to the St. Louis Cardinals, of all teams. Because they pride themselves on playing with class, and carrying themselves with professionalism. And this crime was so amateur hour. The feds busted Correa because they traced the hack to a home in Florida that the Cardinals use for spring training.
What do I know. My only experience with hacking is the 4-year run of the Hack-off. But aren’t hackers supposed to go rogue into the underbelly of the Internet, and then bounce their signal off 4 different continents so the Feds can’t trace them? I thought they were all supposed to have cool aliases like “Morpheus” and “Neo.” This is just some bro named “Chris” cracking a Budweiser on the couch and helping himself to the Astros scouting intel.
You want even more amateur? Correa didn’t even really “hack in” at all. It’s not like some baseball scout knows how to leap firewalls and bypass security. He knew the password for an old Cardinals co-worker who went on to work for the Astros, he typed it in, and it worked.
See? That’s why they make you change passwords now every 5 minutes and include 26 characters, 2 capital letters, 5 numbers and no spaces. That way, your dopey old colleagues can’t just jump into your computer after you leave.
I just thought the Cardinals would be better than this. I would hope that at least, that they would hack “the right way” and “Hack all the little things” “hack the system the way it was meant to be hacked.”
And of all teams- why the hell would they spy on the Astros? Sure, they’re tough… now. But this went down not long after Houston lost 111 games. If anything- try to hack the Giants. That would have at least made some sense at the time.
The Cardinals hacking into the Astros would be like the Patriots spying on the Browns. The Pats have done some shady stuff. You can call them cheaters. But rolling tape on walk through and letting air out of footballs isn’t a federal crime. This is. And now dude could to be sitting in the slam until the year 2020.
Congrats to the Cards. That organization now has 19 pennants, 11 world series titles, a whole list of hall of famers, and 1 jailbird repping the red birds. GO CRAZY NOWWW.
This post brought to you by Jim Rome.