Cheating MMA’er

The two most memorable moments from Brock Lesnar: Pinning The Undertaker. And getting busted as a juicer. Twice.

After learning he tested positive for PED in a drug test taken days before UFC 200, Lesnar vowed to quote “Get to the bottom of this.”

The bottom of what, Brock – the bottle? I think you already did.

Whatever juice you were injecting – you drained it. Because the dude also failed a SECOND drug test, on the night of the fight.

This is the same guy who smacked Jon Jones and called him “unprofessional” for juicing… And then reportedly got busted two times for the exact same substance as Bones was juicing.

Brock why don’t you just sandblast that knife off your chest and hit the parlor to get inked up with a giant syringe? And a better question – why the hell do you even need to roid up? You’re Brock freaking Lesnar. You shouldn’t need to enhance your performance – God already did that for you, dude. You’ve got a body that lets you rip guy’s heads off like a bottle cap. And you still take the spike to make yourself stronger.

This is the same guy who was asked about PEDs earlier this month and popped off “I’m a white boy and I’m jacked. Deal with it.”

Well now, apparently you’re a roid boy and you’re busted, so YOU can go ahead and deal with THAT.

But you’re right -you are jacked. It’s almost unfair. Brock have you looked in the mirror? You’ve got a back that spans the entire octagon. You shouldn’t need PEDs when you’ve got watermelon sized pecs.

But then again, you could see why he felt the need to take the needle. Dude was out of MMA for 5 years. He got knocked out in the first round of his last 2 fights. He was fighting another dude with heavy hands in Mark Hunt. And he probably thought, the best way to get people to look at me, and make a ton of dough, without doing a ton of work, is forget about fake wrestling, and do some real fighting for real money: and in order to pull this off and give myself the best chance possible for not getting embarrassed, I’ll just load up on some fake muscles too. No way I’m putting my badass brand on the line to get my head kicked in again.

There, Brock. I think I just saved you a whole lot of time. I think I just quote.. “got to the bottom of this” Brock.

You’re not wrong,  Brock…Bones Jones is totally unprofessional. But apparently so are you. Just go back to the WWE dude. Throw down a few body slams. Scream into the mic. And stay off the spike- because the script will tell you that you don’t need it.

You’re a great WWE’er and a cheating MMAer. Deal with it.

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